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Monday, February 11th, 2002
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Love.
You want it when you don't have it.
When you have it, you wish you had something else.
When you think you have it, it decides it doesn't want you.
Love.
Who wants it?
I do!
I do!
Love.
Who had it?
I did!
I did!
Love.
Who's going to get it?
Not me...
Not me...
Love is a plague and a cure.
We all want it.
We all need it.
Very few of us get it.
Once we get it, we lose it.
Once we lose it, we want it again.
Once you've had it,
it's that much harder to get it again.
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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We are all a lot more selfish than we give ourselves credit for. Think about it for a minute. Why are you nice to other people? Because you want them to feel good, right? Or at least because you don't want them to fee bad, right? Ok... why do you want them to feel good? Because it makes YOU feel good. You know I'm right.
There is no such thing as a selfless act. If you risk your life for someone else, it's still not selfless because the ultimate reason you did it was because you wanted to feel good, you knew that if you DIDN'T at least TRY to save them, you'd feel guilty for the rest of your life. So even though it may seem selfless on the surface, in the end it's all about you.
-anita
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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I used to have this recurring dream when I was a kid.
It's these birds flying in the sky... only they're not really birds, they're war planes with bird faces, faces that are mean and angry. These planes are dropping bombs on the ground below. I'm trying to stop them, but they just ignore me. Meanwhile everyone on the ground gets blown to smithereens.
It always reminded me a little of that scene from Dumbo when he is flying around the circus tent.
I also used to have a nightmare about fire. My house would be on fire, I'd wake up and use my pre-planned escape route (which I ALWAYS had planned) to get out of the house. I would begin running to the neighbor's house then realize that it was on fire as well. So I would continue down the street... but every house would be on fire. I'd keep running down fire-filled streets until I woke up.
I've never been REALLY afraid of fire.. but these dreams always scared the crap out of me. Since then I have held this belief that when we have nightmares as a kid we are dreaming of how we died in our previous lives. How else would a little kid come up with such horrible images? I wasn't allowed to watch those scarey fire movies when I was that young, so it didn't come from that. Maybe it was cartoons... maybe Bon Voyage Charlie Brown, when the chateau burns down, or maybe even Dumbo again, the clown's burning house. Maybe it was the news, but I don't think so, I have always hated the news and have always refused to watch it.
Oddly enough, I have never had a nightmare about vampires or other "monsters." My nightmares always involved things created by humans, and that is still true to this day.
-anita
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Did you ever wonder if the color blue really looks blue to someone else?
Maybe what blue looks like to me, is what brown looks like to you. It's not that we are color blind, because we are taught what our colors are by what they look like. If I point to "Blue" and give it the name "Blue" that doesn't mean it looks the same to me as it does to you.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name
I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do
The city's aflood
And our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Trampled in dust
I'll show you a place
High on a desert plain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
We're still building
Then burning down love
Burning down love
And when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do
Our love turns to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
Oh, and I see love
See our love turn to rust
We're beaten and blown by the wind
Blown by the wind
Oh, when I go there
I go there with you
It's all I can do</i>
-anita
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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There was a man who lived in leeds
He filled his garden full of seeds.
When the seeds began to grow
it was like a garden in the snow.
When the snow began to melt
it was like a ship without a belt.
When the ship began to sail
it was like a bird without a tail.
When the bird began to fly
it was like an eagle in the sky.
When the sky began to roar,
it was like a lion at my door.
When my door began to crack
it was like a penknife in my back.
When my back began to bleed,
I was dead, dead, dead indeed.
-anita
P.S. Aerica, remember this one?
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Don't ever laugh as the hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die.
They put you in a big black box
then cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week
and then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play Pinocle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
crawls in your stomache and out your eyes.
Your stomache turns a slimy green
and puss pours out like whipping creme.
Spread it on a slice of bread,
that's what you eat when you are dead.
-anita
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, July 21st, 2001
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| Subject: | I won't fear love.... |
| Time: | 9:20 am. |
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What is love? How do you define love? If you define love by what you can feel, hear, smell, taste, or see, then love is simply hormomal signals interpreted by your brain.
Some say to love someone is to give yourself to them body and soul.
I say that love comes from sharing the essence of your body and soul. That's why love is such a fragile thing. Of the two people who claim to love each other, one could suddenly stop sharing. When that happens the love shatters, and the only thing that can fix it again, is that same love, that same sharing.
Why do so many hearts stay broken? Because once a love has been broken, the heart protects itself by hiding behind a wall of pain, it's impossible to share something like that - the wall must come down before the heart can love again.
-anita
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Do you ever think about how easy it would be to be evil instead of good? Just how thin is the line between the two?
Have you ever driven in your car, seen some guy riding a bike on the side of the road, and flashed upon how easy it would be to move over just another 2 feet and hit him? Even if he didn't die, his life would be changed forever, and you would be the reason. It's like it's your chance to play God.
Or have you ever been on a bridge with someone you loved dearly, watched him carefully lean over the edge, and thought about how easy it would be to give him a little shove and watch him plummet to his death?
Think of the power you have in those situations, when someone unconsciously puts you in charge of his life. Think of how corrupting that could be.
On the other hand, think of how hard it is to be good, I mean really good. What is the ultimate good? A saint? Well your average man is not a saint... just as your average man isn't ultimately evil. But what does it take to really be good?
Self-sacrifice.
Are you good?
Are you evil?
Or are you maybe... something in between?
-anita
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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I'm bloody. I'm taking a bath with Sigmund.
-Anita
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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